If there’s one thing that I find, and that’s confidence is one of the main elements that hold people back. And there’s a lot of miscommunication and misunderstanding about confidence, yet it is such a key element. If I was to ask you how confident are you, most people answer, “Well, fairly confident.” But then when they’re faced with certain circumstances, such as having to give a speech, or a presentation, or attend a party, then for some, they’ll say they don’t feel confident. This is where people refer to confidence as being situational, i.e., depending on the situation the person’s faced with will determine how high or how low their confidence will be.
Now, different situations will be different for different people and their confidence levels. They just don’t feel as confident in some situations than others. Yet it’s impossible to thrive and reach our highest potential in our personal and our professional life if our confidence is low. It impacts how visible we are and how visible we make ourselves to be. It determines whether we control our own agenda and our own time. It determines our ability to say no when we need to say no. As a business, our earnings or the fees that we charge will be absolutely in direct proportion to how confident we are. We don’t drive ourselves forward as much as others that are more confident. It literally touches every single aspect of our life.
And most people say “fake it until you make it”. Well, when it comes to confidence, this can have actually the opposite effect as it can lead to imposter syndrome. If we’re telling the outside world one thing, but yet we feel completely different on the inside, then this will lead to imposter syndrome. Your internal integrity metre knows it to be false. So therefore you’re not being authentic. So if you continue long enough trying to fake it until you make it, then you’ll find yourself having to wear different masks all day and every day. That voice inside your head will continue to chatter away, highlighting the fact and highlighting the difference that you’re not being authentic, that you’re not living with integrity. And therefore, it will lead to you feeling a lower level of self-confidence. It’s much better to build your own confidence rather than faking it. In this way, you’re being more authentic. You’re working with your own integrity.
So how do we build our own self-confidence? Well, let’s correct a fundamental misunderstanding that people have. The majority of people interpret competence with confidence. Let me explain. Competence is our ability to do something successfully, whereas confidence is our feeling or our belief about ourselves. Now, I’m going to outline the three pillars that make up competence and also the three pillars that make up confidence. But for now, let’s understand the big difference between the two labels, and how we can significantly affect each one of those labels very, very quickly.
So let’s take the example of giving a speech, which is reported as being one of the highest fears for people. And many of the people that I work with as clients will refer to the fact that they wouldn’t feel confident in giving a speech. This, however, is not down to confidence. It’s not down to a lack of confidence. It’s down to a lack of competence. They all know how to talk. So they’re competent in being able to talk and have a conversation. They just aren’t competent in talking on stage or having a conversation on stage. And that’s what public speaking is all about. Public speaking is about having a conversation with your audience.
Therefore, if we’re dealing with becoming more competent with talking on stage, then this is a skill that can be learned, just as when each person learned the skill of walking, or cycling, or driving a car, playing a musical instrument. It’s a skill that can be learned. Yet people hold themselves back because they’ve labelled it, as so many other people labelled them, as being low in confidence, when in fact it’s actually competence. And because they label themselves as being low in confidence, it results in them avoiding situations, which limits them achieving their highest potential. It’s not confidence. It’s competence.
Secondly, we all have different roles in life, such as husband/wife, employee/employer, father/mother, and so on. And as a business owner or an employee, you too will have different responsibilities. For each of those roles and responsibilities that we fulfil, we need to become competent in the different areas. If you take the role as being a father or a mother, this role will demand us to be competent in a multitude of skills, from looking after a newborn, from feeding them, dressing them, comforting them, how to even handle a newborn baby, to washing them, through to being a teenager. And we’ve got to change then into how to guide them, how to mentor them, how to coach them, how to discipline them, and even how to chauffeur them all around the place.
So each stage of their life requires different skills. And each aspect of our children’s lives require different skills as well. As much as we would love it, we’re not given a handbook with each of our children as they come along. Yet, as the next child arrives, our skills have already been developed, i.e, to feed them, to dress them, to comfort them, to handle them, to washing them. We get better. We become more competent in what it is that we need to do in order to look after a child. And as we get more competent, our belief in ourselves increases, and therefore we become more confident. You see, confidence follows competence. So whatever role that you’re operating in, whether it be in your personal life or in your professional life, there will be a suite of skills that you will need to develop in order for you to be fully competent in fulfilling that role.
Now let’s look at the three pillars that make up competence. And the three pillars are skills, knowledge, and experience. Now, if we take our example from earlier of giving a speech, there are skills that we need to develop, there’s the knowledge that we need to gain. And then we need to put into practice those skills and that knowledge in order to gain the experience, and therefore give us feedback so as to improve our competence in a particular area. So when it comes to giving a speech, there’ll be the skills of stagecraft, controlling our body language, using the presentation software and our laptops, and managing the microphone. There’s the knowledge that we need to gain such as knowledge on our subject matter, how to structure the speech to maximize audience engagement, or even how to handle questions, or what happens when our mind goes blank, and how do we read the audience. So there’s a number of different aspects of what we need to develop our knowledge in.
But our competence in giving a speech will still be very low until such time as we practice and deliver a speech. And the more we give speeches, i.e., the more experiences we get at giving speeches, then the more competent we become. A brain surgeon, if you take it, no matter how much skill and knowledge he or she has developed in the classroom, will be little competent until he or she is standing at a table with a live person in front of them, and they have to do brain surgery on them. That’s where experience comes into play. So no matter how much confidence a person has, without being competent in doing what they’re about to do to, their confidence will have very little advantage.
Also, when it comes to human behaviour, we tend to look up to people that are more confident, not necessarily in an admiration sense, but there will be something about that individual that will be appealing. We might even put it down to the person having charisma. On the other hand, some people will tend to look down on people that express a lower level of confidence, not necessarily in an arrogant way, but in a way that we won’t treat them as an equal, as they have a lower level of confidence than ourselves. You’ll see this play out in companies and with employees as ones that get promotion and others that don’t get promoted. So when it comes to competence, the three pillars are skills, knowledge, and experience.
Now, when it comes to confidence, there are also three pillars. And these are self-belief, self-love, and self-worth. Now, self-belief is that inner knowing that we can achieve whatever it is that we put our minds to. It’s not arrogance. It’s a deep inner knowing. We know that we can achieve the results that we want to achieve. We may not know how it’s going to get to be achieved, but we know we’re going to get there. No matter what, we’re going to get there, because we have that deep inner knowing, that deep inner belief about ourselves that whatever it is that we set our minds about, that we’re actually going to achieve it.
Now, self-love is how we look after ourselves. Now, when I’m working with male clients, I tend to have to change the word self-love to self-care. Taking care of ourselves covers three elements. It covers mind, body, and soul. It’s not just a case of looking after one of those elements. It’s looking after all of those elements. And another aspect of self-love is that if we don’t respect ourselves sufficiently, we will allow others to overpower us, either physically or emotionally, through their words or their actions and what that is that they do. Self-love is about looking after ourselves, both by ourselves, but also by what we allow others to do to ourselves. When you care for yourself, you look after yourself, you value yourself.
Self-worth, on the other hand, is how much we value ourselves, regardless of what other people think, or what other people do, or what other people say. If we don’t feel that we are of much value or benefit to other people, then we won’t put much value or worth on ourselves. Now, self-worth is an inner feeling. It’s not an outward feeling. It’s an inner feeling about ourselves. Now, in business or employment, this comes into play when you start to put a price tag on your service. If your self-worth is low, then you will price your services low, or you will price your salary low. On the other hand, if your self-worth is high, then you will price accordingly.
So when it comes to building self-confidence, it’s about understanding the difference between competence and confidence. And whatever role that you look at in life, whether it be a father, a mother, an employee, an employer, competence needs to be built in each of the relevant areas in order to fulfil that role. And the three pillars of competence are skills, knowledge, and experience, whereas for confidence, the three pillars are self-belief, self-love, and self-worth.
So it’s worth asking yourself what are the elements that you need to develop under each one of these pillars? So until the next blog, that’s something perhaps you could reflect on. What are each of the elements that you need to develop under each one of those pillars? Until the next blog, I wish you every success.
Have you ever had the feeling that you’re just not making progress? That you’ve lots to do, but you can’t seem to find the motivation or the energy to do anything. That unless it’s absolutely critical or there’s a date deadline on it, that you don’t get around to actually doing it. So what you end up doing in these circumstances when you’re feeling that you’re just getting bogged down is that you end up filling your day with tasks that are easy or that you don’t need much brainpower, such as you may find that space that needs to be cleaned again and again, or you end up sorting out some clutter that’s in your drawer or on your shelf. Or there are times where you might find yourself browsing endless and mindless things on social media, or perhaps even having another cup of coffee in the hope that it will give you that much-needed stimulation.
Ultimately you end up procrastinating and putting more important things on the long finger. You end up getting and feeling bogged down with things and with life. Why is that? Well, you could have a fear or anxiety about something, or the work at hand that you have to do isn’t exciting enough. Or you’re unsure if you’re going in the right direction with your business or your career or your life, or perhaps you’re unsure as to how the best way of doing things is. Whatever it is that you are to do, whatever the task is at hand, that you might not have the skills or the experience of doing what it is. Or you’re doing things that just don’t feel right. You’re just not getting the same enjoyment or fulfilment from that you once had before. Where before you loved what you were doing, but now it’s like, “What’s the point?” You’re not on your purpose.
So what can you do about it, this feeling of being bogged down? Well, first of all, there’s a couple of things that we need to look at. First of all, you’ve got to check your energy levels. And what’s going to lead into your energy levels is look at your sleep, look at your diet and look at your exercise. Now, I’m not going to talk at length about your diet and your exercise because the vast majority of people and the vast majority of us know what we need to do when it comes to our diet and our exercise, and equally when it comes to our sleep. If we’re not getting the decent number of hours of sleep, well, then we’re not going to have that energy for the next day to do what it is that we need to do.
Equally, if we’re not eating healthy food, well, then that’s going to have a direct impact on our energy levels and what it is that we need to get done. And equally, if we’re not getting a level of exercise that’s getting our blood flowing really around our body, well then we’re not going to have, again, those energy levels of what we actually need. So first of all, we got to check those pieces and see whether we’re ticking the boxes from that perspective, whether we are getting enough sleep, or whether we are actually eating healthily, or whether we get enough exercise. But then we’ve also got to check what I call the energy vampires versus the energy chargers. Now, the energy vampires is what are the things, or even the people that take your energy away? And equally, what are the things or the activities, the experiences or the people that bring you energy.
Now, for some people, they need to be around other people and they feed off the energy from those other people. And by them working with other people, that’s what brings them energy. But equally, you can be around other people and they can literally suck every ounce of energy from you. So when you start to look at going through each day in each of your weeks, and you start to become more aware and be more sensitive of what are the moments and the things and the people that are energy vampires versus energy chargers, meaning what are the things that give you more energy? When you become more sensitive, more aware of those, well then it’s making the decision for yourself as regards well, how do you start to eliminate the energy vampires, and how do you bring into your life more energy chargers, things that bring you more energy?
The next question you want to ask yourself is, “Are you getting to clear your head? There are lots of different ways of how you can get to the point of clearing your head. But let me explain what clearing your head is in the first place. Clearing your head is clearing your mind of all the thoughts that are going on. So if you’re in a situation whereby you’re trying to just settle your mind, but yet all these thoughts are coming into your mind and you start to think about all those thoughts, well then ultimately what you’re doing is you’re not clearing your head. There are just loads of different activities of what people can do in order to clear their mind. So that can be either going for a walk, it could be meditation, it could be mindfulness, it could be yoga, it could be Pilates, it could be just doing something different or something creative.
What you got to do is you got to find the activity for you that suits you and works for you in how you clear your mind, how you clear your head. For me many, many years ago, I discovered and researched a huge amount. I tried a lot of different activities to try and find this way of how I could clear my mind of all my thoughts, and just be absolutely focused just on one thing. And the only thing that I could find at that time was horse riding. Because when you’re horse riding, you absolutely have to focus on the horse. You need to be completely in tune with the horse, its movements, and equally to horse is in tune with yourself. And you have this intuitive flow going between you and the horse. You can only focus on one thing, and that’s the horse riding. You can’t focus on anything else.
As soon as your mind wanders on all different things, well then the horse intuitively picks it up. And therefore it will do a whole load of other things in order to literally get your attention. See, it’s a great way that I’ve found for myself to focus my attention from that perspective. And it cleared my mind of all the other thoughts that were going on. Now for you, it’s about trying to find what that activity is for you. As I mentioned, it could be mindfulness, it could be meditation, it could be doing art, it could be drama. It could be anything for you, but you’ve got to have an activity which is literally giving you the ability to clear your mind, to clear the head. Now what you’ll find, and the reason why I’m encouraged to do this is that the more you clear your mind or clear your head out of all of those thoughts, ultimately what you’re doing is you’re opening the gateway to your unconscious. And you’re now allowing the inspired thoughts to come from your unconscious mind, into your conscious mind, into your executive centre part of your brain.
That’s ultimately what you want to try and achieve. So if you want to set yourself a goal or objective, that’s why it is that you’re doing what I’m encouraged to do by way of clearing your mind. But ultimately you’ll get a whole load of other benefits literally by just doing those kinds of exercises or those kinds of activities. The other thing that you got to look at is because people get bogged down because they feel a lot of stress or a lot of fear. So if you’ve got that feeling of being just bogged down and looking at life and not feeling the level of energy or encouragement or inspiration of what it is that you want to achieve, well, then ask yourself, what are you fearful of? What are you anxious about, or what are you stressed out about? And therefore what is it that you can do in order to eliminate or dissolve each one of those fears or anxieties?
On a previous blog, I discussed fear and anxiety. So if you haven’t listened to it, I’d encourage you to go back and look at that particular blog in order to actually dissolve the fear and anxiety. But the question you want to look at is for yourself is what are the circumstances or what are the situations or the moments that are showing up in your life that’s allowing you to feel fearful or to feel anxious or to feel stressed? And it’s because of those feelings that we can move into a situation where we just feel that we’re bogged down, that we’re not getting anywhere that we just feel, “Well, what’s the point of what it is that we’re doing?” Or, for want of a better word, we feel that we’re just bored with what it is that we’re doing. So start to look at it from that perspective.
Next thing is to start to analyze the tasks that you’re doing. And when you make a list of all the tasks that you’re doing, and you’re spending your time on, questions that you want to ask yourself is, “Is it of value?” So all the different tasks that you’re doing throughout the day, throughout the week, throughout the month, are the tasks that you’re doing, are they of value? Are they bringing you closer to what it is your dream is? Are they bring you closer to fulfilling your purpose? Do you need to do the task, or could you learn to delegate it or outsource it or even dump it if it doesn’t need to be done? What do you need to learn? What are the things, what are the skills and knowledge and experience that you need to develop in order to actually do what it is that you need to do?
As I said earlier on, we can feel bogged down because we’ve got a task to do, but we actually just don’t know how to do it. We don’t have that skill, the knowledge and experience in actually doing that particular task. So we can have this feeling of being bogged down. So therefore, what is it that you need to learn in order to do the task and to do it more effectively and more efficiently, and therefore just move forward? So if you’re not filling your day with activities that are in line with your purpose, your day is going to be filled with what it is that you don’t want. So just look at all the different tasks that you’re doing and ask yourself and go through each one of them. Do you need to get rid of it, do you need to eliminate it from your life completely? Is it possible to delegate or outsource it?
Do you need to develop your competence within that particular task that needs to be done? Or ultimately the really big question for yourself is the tasks that you’re doing throughout your day or throughout your week, are they helping you and getting you closer to fulfilling your purpose, for fulfilling your dream? And if they’re not, what you’re going to find is your day will be absolutely filled with tasks that you don’t want, if you’re not doing the activities of what it is that you do want. The next thing you got to look at is what’s your environment? I’ll give you an example from my perspective. During this COVID, and as a country we were all locked down, and I had to move from my usual office, and I had to set up a new temporary office in the home in order to operate from my new office environment. When I set up my new office in this temporary environment, I put my computer facing a particular way. So therefore, what was in front of me was my screen.
I couldn’t see past the screen because literally it was just in front of me, but I was blocking all the light that was coming into the room. I couldn’t see outside the window. I couldn’t see the sunlight. I couldn’t see nature outside my window because it was completely blocked by the screen. And what I’ve found over the first two days was that my actual energies completely dropped. And it wasn’t until I turned my desk purposely because I noticed the energy drop in myself, and all I did was I turned my desk 90 degrees in order to have the sunlight come through, for me to be able to turn my head and be able to see out the window, see nature, see the sunlight coming through. And as soon as I did it, my energy level started to come up. So when you become more sensitive to your environment and look around where it is that you’re working, what are the things that are not giving you energy in your environment, and what are the things that are literally draining your energy?
If you become more and more sensitive to the actual room itself and to your environment, you can actually pick up what’s the energy in the room? And is it is something that’s conducive for you to be actually more productive, or is it actually stressing you out and distracting you? So if there are things that are in your room, for example, clutter, and you’re seeing this constant clutter in the environment that you’re working within, well then that’s going to be distracting, but it’s also going to drain your energy. So the more you ask yourself is the energy in the room, is your environment conducive to what it is that you’re trying to do? For example, there are people that I know that have a very, very creative environment. And that whole creative environment feeds their energy for themselves. There are other people that are very, very organized, and they have to have everything structured in their environment and in the room that they work within.
And that for them feeds their energy because they now have order in their life, they have order in their particular environment. So the question you want to look at is think about it from the perspective of, as I mentioned earlier on the energy vampires versus what’s the energy that’s bringing you energy. So think of it from that perspective, and are there changes that you need to make to your environment. But your environment goes much further than that. It’s not just your physical environment, it’s also, what’s the news and the social media or the conversations that you’re having with other people are. For example, when you’re looking at social media channels, or you’re looking at the news, is your energy draining from you? As you’re having those conversations with people, or you’re reading those particular news feeds on social media or you’re watching TV or listening to on the radio, is it draining your energy or is it bringing you energy?
So your environment goes much further than just your physical environment of your home or your office. So just think about it from that perspective. Then look at okay, so what’s the work that you’re doing with your customers or your clients? Are you enjoying the kind of work that you’re doing? Are you enjoying the kind of customers and clients that you’re working with? And if you’re not enjoying your customers or your clients, well, then that’s going to bring a different level of energy to how you’re engaging with your customers and your clients. And you’re not going to bring your full self to that relationship if you’re not feeling that energy that you have with your customers and clients, if you’re not enjoying the work that you’re doing. And it’s when you have the absolute desire and excitement about the work that it is that you’re doing, obviously you’re going to feel bogged down in what it is that you’re doing. Now think of it from, yes, the customers and clients that you’re working with, but equally the type of work that you’re doing.
Let me give you an example. I originally trained as a management accountant. So when I set up my business in the first place in 2001, I started doing management accounts for a number of different clients. But what I actually noticed was that I was getting very, very stressed out in particular aspects of the work that I was doing with the clients. And what I found was that I absolutely really, really enjoyed the work from the perspective of guiding my clients to where it is that they were supposed to get to, what their purpose is, what their business should be all about and helping them to grow and scale their businesses from that perspective. But the times when I was actually doing the management accounting pieces, meaning I was heavily ingrained in actually doing the accounts, I didn’t enjoy whatsoever. I got hugely stressed out in that kind of work.
What I didn’t realize was that when I was in my career, I had other people doing that work for me, and therefore I was reporting on the actual management accounts, as opposed to doing the management accounts. So when I found that out for myself, I immediately removed all that aspect of the work from the service offering that I was doing. I completely removed it and only just focused on reporting on the management accounts and in helping and guiding the business owners to grow and scale their businesses.
So look at it from your own perspective and sense of, are there aspects of what it is that you do in your client relationships that you don’t really absolutely enjoy doing? And if you don’t, well, then what is it that you can do to either delegate or outsource it, or remove it from your service offering, or have other people do it for you? So look at the kind of work that you’re doing. The next thing you want to look at is, okay, so what is your people? Meaning what are the people that you surround yourself with? And that can take into friends, family, acquaintances, and as I said earlier on clients and customers. I heard a phrase many, many years ago, and the phrase was your “network is your net worth”. Meaning that the people that you surround yourself with, if you were to take the average earnings of the people that you surround yourself with, then your net worth would equate to the average of the same net worth of those individuals.
Now you can take it from that perspective, but I want to go one step further. Because if your energy levels… If you’re taking the average energy levels of the people that you surround yourself with, well then that’s the energy that you’re going to have. So just as much in financial terms, your net worth from a financial perspective will be the average of your network, the people that you surround yourself with. That’s from a financial perspective. If you take it from an energy perspective, your energetic net worth will be the average of the energetic or the energy levels of the people that you surround yourself with. So what you want to look at is that is there not a group that you want to form part of? Are there other people that you want to be surrounding yourself with? Either friends or acquaintances or clients or customers or other people that you meet with on a regular basis?
And the more you get involved in those other people, really what it’s doing is it’s bringing up your energy levels, but it’s also helping you to stretch even further for what it is that you can actually achieve. You don’t want to be surrounded with people that are going to throw water on your plans and your dreams, and what it is that you actually want to achieve. You want those around you to be your champions, to be your cheerleaders, to be your mentors, your advisors. You want people to support and stretch you and encourage you to go after what it is. It’s okay to be challenged, to challenge your thoughts and to challenge your plans of what it is that you’re going to achieve. But you want people there to literally support you and say, “Yes, go after it.” That’s the kind of people that you want to be around.
So when you think about the people that you’re around with, well then think of it from that perspective. It’s not just from a financial perspective, it’s from an energy perspective as well. But I want to go deeper. The question I have for you is what’s driving you, what’s motivating you? Now motivation follows action. So let me explain that. If you can think about it, so if you’re sitting on the couch and you’re watching TV and you’re flicking through the channels and you have it in your mindset, “Oh, I must go to the gym.” And you still constantly go through this thought process, “I must go to the gym. I must go to the gym. I must go to the gym.” But an hour later, you’re still sitting on the couch and flicking through the channels. It’s not until such time as you actually pick up the bag and put your runners on perhaps, that you literally start to get the motivation to actually go to the gym and do all the physical exercises that you want to do in the gym.
Motivation follows action. As soon as you start taking action, that’s when the motivation starts to follow. That can be applied to anything in your personal life or in your business life. So when it comes to writing the report that you need to get done, when you start writing that report, that’s when the motivation will start to follow. When it comes to doing physical exercise, as soon as you put those runners on, well then that’s when the motivation is going to follow. So just think of it from that perspective. Now, ultimately what you want to have and understand for yourself is what is actually driving you forward? What is it that’s motivating you in going forward or wanting to achieve what it is that you want to achieve? The next question is, do you know what your purpose is, what your mission is. If you don’t know what your purpose is and what your mission is, what it is you’re absolutely here to do, you’re not going to be jumping out of bed in the morning in order to fulfil your purpose, because it’s just not there. It’s just you don’t have it.
So the question you had got to have for yourself is have you got that mission that you’re absolutely trying to fulfil in life, that purpose of what it is that you want to achieve, what you’re going after to achieve. When you have that absolute sense of purpose and that clarity, that’s when you’re jumping out of bed in order to actually achieve that dream, achieve that mission in life. Now, the next question is that if you don’t have that purpose, you may have a sense of what your purpose is, or you may have a sense of what it is that you want to achieve, but perhaps it’s not big enough for you. Meaning it’s not an inspired vision, you’re only seeing a small glimpse of what it is that you want to do. When you have an absolute inspired vision of what it is that you want to achieve, what you’re seeking to achieve, if your vision is big enough, you will literally be driven in order to achieve your vision.
So that’s where, when I say, I want to go deeper, that’s what I mean by going deeper. Understanding what your purpose is, what your inspired vision is, the difference, the absolute clarity on the difference that you’re going to make for the other people, the other people that you’re going to serve in terms of your customers, your clients, the impact, the difference you want to make in other people’s lives, in whatever shape or form that may look like. If your vision is not inspired enough, it’s not big enough, well then you’re going to feel bogged down. You’re not going to feel that energy level. You’re not going to feel what it is that you want to go after. So these are some of the questions you want to start asking yourself, have you got your purpose? Have you got your inspired vision?
And then start to look at, okay, so who’s helping you to actually achieve your vision, to achieve that mission, that purpose, what it is that you want to achieve. But then there’s also the day-to-day side of things of what I said earlier on by way of looking at your environment, looking at people that you’re surrounding yourself with, looking at your diet, your exercise, and what it is that you’re doing in your life. Your routines, your habits, all of those things come together in order for you to achieve what it is that you want to achieve.
So these are some of the questions you want to ponder on. With those questions, you get answers. You see without an inspired vision, you’ll operate from the amygdala. You’ll operate from the lower part of your brain. And if you’re operating from the lower part of your brain, you’re never going to operate from the executive centre part of the brain. You’ve got to move and shift into the executive centre part of the brain. Now, how you’ll know that is that if you’re not doing activities that align with your highest internal priorities, well then you’re going to fill your day with meaningless tasks, meaningless activities that are not going to bring you forward to what it is your purpose is, what it is that your inspired vision is. Over 90% of the people that I come across don’t know, or are absolutely completely unsure of what their internal priorities are.
They think they know what their internal priorities are, but they’re not. Over 90% of the people that I come across don’t know for definite what their internal priorities are. If you don’t know what your internal priorities are, that’s what you got to find out. That’s what you got to work on. It’s your purpose. It leads to your purpose. It leads to what it is that you want to bring about. And if your business or your career isn’t structured around your internal priorities, well then obviously you’re going to have that feeling of just feeling bogged down. Now, as I said in previous blogs, there’s a link within the description of this or this blog, that will bring you to find out what your internal priorities are.
If you don’t know what your internal priorities are, absolutely find out what they are, because it’s the key cornerstone of what it is that you need in your life in order to bring meaning and fulfilment, and it’s what leads to your purpose, what leads to having that inspired vision of what’s going to get you jumping out of bed in the morning in order to actually achieve that mission that you want to have in life.
Are you striving to be your best? Not in terms of physical shape or fitness accomplishments. Are you striving to be your best and to be the difference that you want to make in this world to have the impact that you want to have for other people, to have that legacy that you want to leave behind, to be your best in terms of your purpose? Knowing your purpose and knowing your mission, knowing what it is that you’re going after. Are you striving to be the best in that mission, in that purpose of what it is that you are here to fulfil?
Or are you settling for less? Just settling and spending your days being less than what it is that you can achieve, being less than what your potential is, doing things that you know don’t serve you, doing things that you know just literally won’t bring you closer to what it is that you know deep down within yourself that you’re here for much, much greater. You’re here for absolutely much more to actually achieve. If you’re settling for less, why? Why wouldn’t you go and embrace life to its absolute fullest and bring about what it is that you want to actually achieve. Life is for achieving absolutely everything that you’re here to achieve. It’s for you to make manifest what you’re absolutely here to make manifest. It’s to experience life in a whole level, that most people don’t get to achieve. That’s what you’re here to do, so why would you settle for less?
Spend your days on doing activities that are bringing you closer to your purpose, bring you closer to having that fulfilment. It’s literally wanting to suck every single ounce out of life. If you don’t know what your purpose is, you’re going to have the lack of direction, the lack of clarity. You’re not going to have that higher sense of meaning and fulfilment and purpose in your life. You’re not going to be jumping out of bed every morning to fulfil what it is your purpose of what it is your mission is. You’re just going to feel like you’re on a treadmill on that proverbial hamster wheel. That’s not what life is supposed to be about. Life is exhilarating. It’s literally getting into life and sucking every single ounce out of life. Life is for living. It’s not for playing small.
So the question you have is, what is that it is that you’re doing in order to move you closer to what it is that your purpose is? Are there going to be challenges? Yes, of course there is. Otherwise you don’t get to do, and you don’t get to learn. You don’t get to do what it is that you’re supposed to do, and if there’s not challenges, challenges are to stretch you. Challenges are there for you to learn from. Challenges are there to get you to the higher levels. So yes, of course there are challenges, but you don’t see challenges as a challenge. When you’re working on your purpose and you’re driven in order to achieve the purpose that you’re here to actually achieve, you see it as a way of getting you closer to your purpose, not as a challenge. Because you know at a much, much deeper level why the challenge is there in the first place.
Is there an easier way to get there? Absolutely, of course there is. But here’s the thing, why wait for tomorrow? Why not start now, today, this minute, to live the life you’re meant to live? It’s time to live the life you were absolutely born to make manifest. It’s your decision. That’s it. It absolutely starts with your decision. And with your decision, you take action. Motivation follows action. That’s it for now until the next blog, I wish you absolutely every success.
There is a true story about a swimmer Florence Chadwick that I came across many, many years ago and I want to relay this actual story to you here. Now, this story is courtesy of Don Meyer, as he puts it much more eloquently than I could ever do and it’s called The Fog. So let me tell you the story.
Florence Chadwick loved to swim. She was born in San Diego, California on November 9, 1918. And she grew up on the beach and began competing as a swimmer at the age of six. After four years of the defeats, her uncle entered her in a contest at the age of 10 in a two and a half-mile rough water night swim where she came in fourth.
One year later at age 11, Chadwick won first place in a six-mile race across the choppy waters at the San Diego Bay Channel. For the next 19 years, she continued as a competitive swimmer. When she was 13 she came in second at the U.S. National Championships. She was the first woman to swim across the English Channel both ways. She even swam across the straits of Gibraltar. In 1962 after a career of swimming accomplishments, Chadwick was admitted to the San Diego Hall of Champions into the Breitbard Hall of Fame.
But it wasn’t easy you see. On July 4th, 1952, Chadwick was 34 years old when she attempted to become the first woman to swim the 21 miles across the Catalina Channel, from Catalina Island to Palos Verde on the California coast. The weather that day was challenging because the ocean was ice-cold and the fog was so thick she could barely see to support boats that followed her. The tides and the currents were against her, and to make matters worse, sharks were in the area. But at daybreak she decided to go forward anyway, expecting the fog to lift any time.
Hour after hour she swam, the fog had never lifted. Her mother and trainer followed her in one of the support boats encouraging her to keep going. While Americans watched on television other members of her support crew fired rifles at the sharks to drive them away. She kept going and going. At about the 15 hour point she began to doubt her ability to finish the swim. She told her mother she didn’t think she could make it. Unfortunately, at 15 hours and 55 minutes she had to stop and with huge disappointment she asked her support crew to take her out of the water.
Because of the fog she could not see the coastline, so she had no idea where she was. She soon found out however that she was less than a mile from the coast. She could have definitely reached it if she had just stayed in the water a few minutes longer. Later she told a reporter, “Look, I’m not excusing myself, but if I could have seen the land I know I could have made it.”
The fog had made her unable to see her goal and it felt to her like she was getting absolutely nowhere. Two months later, she tried again. And though the fog was just as dense, this time she kept going. Her time was 13 hours and 47 minutes, breaking a 27-year-old record by more than two hours and becoming the first woman ever to complete the swim.
You see, we all encounter moments of fog, not seeing where we’re heading, not seeing land, not seeing the coastline. We’re heading to land but we just can’t see it. We know a sense of direction of where we’re going to go but we just can’t see the coastline. Like Chadwick, we can be doing really well in our business or our career but then we encounter a challenge that can either break us or make us. It depends on how we deal with that challenge then as it arises. What can happen is that doubt can set in. Doubt in our ability, our expertise, our intentions, our credibility, or even our competence, our confidence, our courage, and being able to get and go after what it is that we’re trying to achieve.
We can be on the brink of success but because we can’t see the finish line from where we’re actually standing right now, we give up. Like what Chadwick said, if she could have seen the coastline she could have made it. As I mentioned in one of the previous blogs and they called it The Snakes and Ladders Life, what happens as we get closer and closer to the brink of success, that more snakes begin to show up, more challenges begin to face up. And the reason being is because we’re getting to that point and getting closer and closer to what it is we’re about to achieve. And we have to, while we are in that energy and in that space, we have to overcome more and more challenges. And the reason being is because it strengthens us for actually what we’re supposed to do, what we’re going to be doing going forward. But it’s how we face those challenges and whether we meet them head-on, or whether we get around them or whatever it is in order to get through those challenges. That’s what makes the difference in actually reaching to the success that you want to actually reach.
Now, there are times that we need to have trust and faith, we have to be able to stand firm to what it is that we want to create. If we can’t see the reality meaning if we can’t see that coastline, like what Chadwick was trying to see as she was swimming across the channel, if we can’t see that coastline or we can see that end destination of what it looks like in real terms, we can see it in our mind’s eye perhaps, but we can’t perhaps maybe see it in real terms, tangible terms. That’s when we absolutely need our highest level of trust and faith that we’re going to achieve what it is that we’re actually going to achieve.
But there are times we need a supporter, somebody to guide us, a coach or a mentor, somebody that’s there on our side to encourage us, to guide us of where we need to get to. Now, I’ve always had a mentor in my life from the point of when I was building my career. In every single position that I held I always had a mentor. And that mentor was always a few steps ahead of me by way of he or she had experienced and gone through some of the difficulties and challenges that I had faced, but had also reached a higher level of success that I hadn’t reached at that moment in time. I always had a mentor to guide me because if they had gone through all the different things of what I’m trying to achieve, well, then I found that that was the fastest and the easiest way to get to where I want to get to.
When I set up my own business in 2001, I always employed a mentor because the reason being is they’re there to encourage you, they’re there to stretch you, they’re there to challenge you. And it surprises me, we all have an accountant or we have a lawyer, or we have a physical trainer for our fitness or our physique. But for so many people they don’t have mentors in their life or in their business. They don’t have that guide or that support to challenge them, to support them, to encourage them, to push them and to guide them as it regards where they’re supposed to go. There are times when we are faced with challenges and you need to find somebody in your circle of influence that can actually be there as your mentor, as your cheerleader to bring you forward.
But what I’ve also learned is that success breeds success. And you’ve probably heard this term as well yourself before whereby success breeds success. Our successes give us those springboards for higher levels. Now, one of the things you can do is to make a list of your successes. Acknowledge your successes and recognize the successes that you have actually achieved. And the more successes that you document and you look at and you’re able to see them in your life, the more successes that you list out, well then the more you’re going to feel and believe of what you can actually achieve going forward. The more you acknowledge the successes that you’ve actually achieved, the more that’s going to bring you forward in your own business life or your personal life.
Now think of it this way. Roger Bannister in 1954 broke the four-minute mile. Up to that point, nobody had run the mile within four minutes, but then soon after Roger Bannister broke that four-minute mile ever since then there’s been thousands of athletes that have achieved running the mile within four minutes to the extent that now it’s a case of they’ve even reduced it by 17 seconds. Now people can run the mile in less than four minutes.
You see, what happens is the more we can see something happening, the more we can see it in real terms, we get that higher level of belief in what it is that can be achieved. Up to the point in 1954 when nobody could actually achieve running the mile within four minutes, and then as soon as they could see one person Roger Bannister running that mile within four minutes, since then thousands of athletes have run that mile in less than four minutes. The more you’re able to develop and grow your belief around what it is that you want to actually achieve, the more you will actually succeed.
The next thing that we can take from the story of Chadwick is that when we have persistence and endurance in our life and in our business, well then everything comes about. When I’m talking to people that are involved in business development and sales, I encourage them to keep being persistent and consistent in what it is that they’re doing. But let me put it this way. When it comes to sales, for example, a lot of people give up at the first ask, meaning that they go to a potential client and they ask them for business. And if the client says no, they feel rejected and they walk away. They don’t come back and ask again, “Are you ready for the sale?”
And they may not be ready at that point in time but they may be ready at some point in the future. But if they’ve gone and they’ve moved away, meaning that they haven’t gone back to ask again, they haven’t been persistent, they haven’t been consistent in what they’re doing as well and they haven’t had that self-endurance of what it is they’re going after, well, then that sale is completely lost going forward.
The more you have consistency and you’re persistent in what it is that you’re going after, well then the more you’re going to reach to that success that you want to achieve. You’ve got to have that endurance for staying the pace of staying in the water just like Chadwick and swimming and constantly keeping going and heading towards what it is that you’re looking to actually achieve.
What brings that up is what are your habits? What are your routines? What I mean by routines is, what are your right routines? What are the right things to do when it comes to your routines? Because a couple of questions you want to ask yourself is, well, what are the habits and the routines that you do currently have? And out of all of those habits and routines that you currently have, what are the ones that you need to stop? Which are the ones that aren’t bringing you forward that are actually holding you back? And out of those habits and routines, which are the ones that you need to stop?
But then equally there’s also habits and routines that we need to do more of because we find that we do get a level of success from the ones that we’re doing. Whether that be maybe from a health perspective or from a mindset perspective or what it is that we’re doing within our business or in our personal life, what are the habits and routines that you need to do more of? Then, what are the habits and routines you need to do less of? But also there are the ones that we need to create, meaning that we’re not doing them so therefore we need to bring those habits and routines into our life. And these are absolutely new habits and new formats, new routines that we need to bring into our life in order to bring us forward.
They’re just some of the questions that you may want to ask yourself, which are the ones you need to stop, which are the ones who need to do more of, which are the ones need to do less off and which new routines that you want to bring onboard? You see, you’ve got a destination to get to, that’s your purpose, that’s where you want to get to, that’s where you want to end up. Just like Chadwick, it can be hard when you can’t see the coastline, you can’t see the land of what it is that you’re heading towards. When you can’t see it clearly where you’re heading to, that’s where you’ve got to have absolute faith and belief of what it is that you believe in or what you want to achieve and that’s what you’re heading towards.
But you got to keep going, that’s where the endurance piece comes into play. So many people just give up, they just let go and they don’t go after what it is they’re supposed to be going after. They don’t follow that train because they’ve faced a challenge and they just give up. But those challenges are there to be overcome. They’re there to strengthen you, they’re there for you to learn from. So the more you get over those challenges and head towards what it is that your dream is, well then the more you’re going to succeed in it.
You see there are things we know deep down within ourselves that we need to do and there are things that you need to do yourself. You know this, you know that deep within yourself there are things, there’s actions, there are routines, whatever it is, there are habits that you need to be doing. But what’s stopping you? What’s holding you back? What’s keeping you from achieving the things that you want to achieve? What’s holding you back from doing the things that you know you need to do? Where are you holding yourself back?
These are just so many questions you want to contemplate on. And ultimately the fundamental question is, do you want to stay where you are or do you want to actually achieve a much, much higher level? Because it’s by achieving a much, much higher level that you get closer and closer to your dream, closer and closer to your purpose. It’s taking those stepping stones, and the more stepping stones you take the closer you get to your dream. Well, that’s it for this blog and I look forward to connecting with you on the next blog. Until then, I wish you every success.
Everyone encounters fearful moments in their life. And each one of us have different triggers that will initiate a fear response. Now there are seven different types of fear. And what I want to go through in this particular blog is to explain what happens in our minds when we encounter a moment that draws out that fear and also explain what are the different types of fear. And more importantly, what is it that we can do to dissolve the fear? And why does fear show up in the first place in our life?
Well, if we don’t handle our fear, what happens is we can’t think straight. We can’t look for alternatives or solutions or opportunities that might be around us. We get paralysed by that fear in many cases. And ultimately what’s happening is that we’re not operating from the Executive Center part of our brain and we’re out of equilibrium.
Now, if you’ve read previous blogs, you understand what I mean by being out of equilibrium. So when we’re not operating from our Executive Center and we’re operating out of equilibrium, meaning we’re not connected with our Unconscious and ultimately we’re not connected with the SuperConscious, that’s where we can’t find opportunities. We can’t find alternatives or creative ways of getting out of our particular situation. So that’s what happens when fear shows up.
But ultimately there’s something that triggers from an event or a moment in our life that will trigger that fear. Now you would have heard people talk about, well, in a moment of fear, there’s two responses, there’s fight or flight. Meaning that we will fight against a particular situation or we will run away. But what I found is that there is another response, and that’s the response of freeze, meaning that we somewhat get paralysed in our moment of thinking. And therefore we can’t think straight from the perspective of how is it that we can get out of our current situation? So we’re literally paralysed, frozen in that moment in time and paralysed by that fear.
Now what happens is that our mind is operating from the amygdala side of our brain. And then what happens when we experience that fear is that the stress hormones start to build up in our body. Now, as the stress hormones start to build up, our body begins to contract. We will literally move to a situation whereby if you can imagine this in your own mind, whereby you’re standing straight and upright in yourself, and you’re feeling confident about yourself and your being, when we encounter a fearful moment, our body will literally start to contract. So we start to stoop. We start to move towards being in a fetal position. And for many people, when they’re in high levels of fear and anxiety, the body will actually move to the fetal position where they’ll curl up in bed or curl up on the couch in that fetal position and wanting just to make themselves smaller and smaller.
What also happens is our breathing starts to become more shallow. And we start, and I’ll use the term, whereby we build castles in our mind, meaning that fear or that anxiety starts to build up so much that we can build these amazing stories in our life of the potential of what can happen. So we start to build castles in our mind and they’re typically not good castles, they’re literally horrific castles because we fear the worst. We fear of what’s going to happen of what is the worst case scenario of what might actually happen. So that spiral starts to begin and bring us out of control.
Now because there’s so much emotion around the fear that’s building up, the fear becomes fact, meaning we manifest more in our life, which gives us the evidence to compound that fear and that emotion that builds up in our lives. So fear can become fact if we stick in that moment and that emotion of fear. Because when you’ve got the thoughts matched with the emotions and feelings, that’s what you’re going to make manifest. So that’s how we bring about more circumstances and more evidence in our life to compound and bring about more and more fear to show up in our lives.
So when we get triggered, fear starts to build. So what we need to do is we need to reset the brain. Now what’s the quickest way of actually resetting the brain? Well, if, as you remember what I said earlier, our body starts to contract. Now, if our body starts to contract and our stress hormones are circulating throughout our body, what we’ve got to do is literally get us out in that particular situation, reset the mind from that moment and get us into a much more Executive Center side of thinking, a much more creative, innovative, and opportunistic way of actually thinking.
So the fastest way of resetting the mind is through our breathing. Now there’s a technique that I give my clients whereby it’s a very, very simple technique where you inhale for five seconds and you hold that breath for five seconds and then you exhale for five seconds.
Now, the reason we’re doing this is ultimately to reset the brain. But after doing it, you’ll actually see and feel a difference in yourself physically because your body will be expanding because you have to fill your chest with that breath for five seconds and hold it for five seconds. Ultimately, what you’re doing is you’re expanding your physical body. So you can no longer be in the fetal position. You’re expanding your body to literally take over the full capacity of your lungs. And ultimately what’s actually happening is also in the brain is that there’s a whole load of activities going on in order to reset the brain to get you out of that fearful moment.
So the first exercise that we got to do is a breathing exercise. So what you do is inhale for five seconds, then hold that breath for five seconds, and then exhale the breath for five seconds and keep going for the five seconds, emptying your lungs from that breath.
You can do this exercise while you’re driving, while you’re sitting on a couch or doing an activity. When you do the exercise you will notice a difference in your mind, but also in your body as well. And it’s a very, very quick exercise to do when you feel fear coming and descending upon you. I also give this exercise to clients when they’re about to go on stage or they’re about to give a very important speech or about to go into a very important meeting whereby it just resets the brain and gets them settled and centered in their own mind.
Now, if you repeat that sequence, meaning inhaling, holding, and exhaling for five seconds, if you repeat that a few times, you will absolutely find a significant difference by just doing that very simple exercise. So my encouragement is that when fear starts to show up and you find yourself getting a little bit stressed, well then what you can do is go through that breathing exercise.
Now let’s look at fear itself.
Well, the definition of fear that I use is that fear is the anticipation of a future event that we perceive poses a risk.
Now, if it’s the anticipation of a future event, it means that it’s within our control, meaning the event hasn’t happened yet. So if it’s a future event, obviously it hasn’t happened yet. It’s the anticipation of a future event. It hasn’t happened.
Now the second part of that definition is that we perceive it poses a risk, meaning it’s in our thoughts, it’s in our mind, it’s in our thinking that it poses a risk for ourselves. Now it doesn’t eliminate the fear. It’s just a definition to understand that’s what fear is.
I’ll bring you through an exercise of what you can do to dissolve that particular fear, but understand it from this perspective. Fear is the anticipation of a future event that we perceive poses a risk. Now, the very fact that it’s a future event and the very fact that we perceive it means that we can dissolve it. We can remove that perception and therefore dissolve the actual fear itself in order to move ourselves into the Executive Center part of the brain and start working out ways and solutions of removing the triggers, but also removing the fear from our lives and the situation that we find ourselves in that’s causing the fear.
So let’s look at the different types of fear that actually show up.
There are seven types of fear and I’m going to go through each one of them for you. First of all, there’s the fear of failure. Now fear of failure is about that we’re not going to achieve the success that we want to achieve, that we had been looking forward to, that we wanted to achieve, that we had in our mind at some point in the future that we were going to achieve a level of success. It’s the fear of failure from that perception. Or it’s from the perspective that there’s an outcome that we were expecting, but we’re not going to get the outcome. Now there’s a fear that we’re not going to get that outcome. So fear of failure is about something in the future that we were holding onto, that we were looking to be rewarded with. And therefore we’re not going to get that anticipated future event or that future outcome. So it’s a fear of failure from that perspective.
The next one is the fear of loss of something. That can be the loss of money or time, the loss of our efforts, the loss of a relationship, the loss of property, for example. So whether it be a home, a car, jewelry, a watch, whatever it might be. So it’s the loss of something, or even the loss of our career or our reputation. It’s something that we’re holding onto that we fear the loss of.
The next one is the fear of not being good enough. And that can come up from the perspective of where we say to ourselves that, “I don’t have the courage to do something,” or, “I’m not good enough to do something. Who am I to stand on stage and give a talk about something? Who am I to write an article and, say, put forward my expertise, for example?” These are the kinds of conversations that we have with ourselves that brings about the fear of not being good enough, meaning we’re not intelligent enough. We don’t have the expertise. We don’t have the competence. We don’t have the appearance or the looks that we would like to have. We don’t have the knowledge or we don’t have the fitness, whatever it might be. These are all elements or pieces of it that come together from the perspective of us feeling that we’re not good enough to do something.
Then there’s the loss of the fear of loss of respect. And that can be as an individual, as a leader, as a business owner, a business person, as an entrepreneur. Ultimately what it means is it’s our standing in our business or our community, or even our family. So for something that might happen at a future event, our fear is that we’re going to lose the respect that we have or our standing within our community, our family, our environment, our business of what people will perceive of ourselves. So it is that fear of loss of respect.
The next one is the fear of rejection. So if it’s from the rejection of a partner or a staff member or a client, for example, or even a potential client, rejection from society or rejection from our community or from our family. It’s that fear again of being rejected by somebody or a group of people.
The next one for some people is the fear of death, or the fear of illness. It’s the fear of getting an illness and what that illness might mean to ourselves, of what will happen in the future. And what are the implications if we were to fall ill, or if we were to die, what would happen to our family or our siblings or the people that we’re responsible for. So when we start to concentrate and focus on the fear of death or the fear of an illness, it’s that kind of scenario that we start to build within ourselves, what might happen?
The last one, then out of seven is the fear of breaking rules. So they could be rules of society. They could be religious rules. For many, many years, people had a fear of breaking those rules that were laid down by church or laid down by religion. There’s the political rules, there’s rules of moral code that we adhere to. And even if you look at the current situation by way of the pandemic with COVID-19, the fear of people breaking the rules associated with COVID-19, of the restrictions and all those kinds of things, it’s that fear that can build up with other people, within ourselves.
So they’re the seven different types of fear, the fear of failure, the fear of loss of something, the fear of not being good enough, the fear of loss of respect, the fear rejection, the fear of death or illness, or the fear of breaking rules. They’re the different types of fear. But what is it that we can do to dissolve the fear when it shows up in our life?
Well, a lot of people would say, and you may have read about this in books or publications or articles – “Well, feel the fear and do it anyway.” Now for me, when I looked at that and tried it, it didn’t work for me because ultimately for me, and in my mind I was saying, “Well, it doesn’t remove the fear. It means that we’ll just have to step over the fear and do it anyway, but it doesn’t remove the fear. It doesn’t remove the trigger. It doesn’t remove the cause of the fear itself.” So for me, it didn’t work. And for you, you might say, well, there might be some situations whereby it does work, but in other situations it doesn’t work.
Then there’s the other cliches of, well, fear stands for false evidence appearing real. And yes it does, meaning that, yes, you can use it as an acronym and therefore just get on with your life or just get on with things and therefore a statement that it isn’t real. And yes, as I said earlier on, the definition of fear is it’s a perception of a future event. So therefore, yes, it’s true in its essence. However, it still doesn’t remove the fear. It doesn’t dissolve the fear of what we have to deal with.
And other people want to say, just think positively, don’t think about the fear, just think of its opposite and just get over yourselves and just get on with things.
Now, while that might make sense in some circumstances, it won’t, again, deal with the fear and ultimately what it’s also not doing, it’s not bringing it back into equilibrium. And the whole point of what we want to do is operate from the state of equilibrium. Because when we’re operating from a state of equilibrium, we are objective. We’re seeing both sides, but also we’re operating from the Executive Center with the Unconscious and to the SuperConscious. And that’s how we make manifest and how we bring about the things that we want to have within our life. So just thinking positively is taking us out of equilibrium state because it’s not being objective. So while it might deal with a particular situation at this moment in time, it’s not going to ultimately solve the underlying problem or the underlying trigger.
So if we were to dissolve fear, well then what is it that we need to do in order to dissolve the actual fear?
Well, we’ve got to work with how the brain works. Now our conscious mind is thinking, as I said earlier on, ultimately what it’s doing is it’s building castles in our mind of the worst case scenario of the worst things that could happen, and we get attached to that outcome. So if that how our conscious mind thinks, then we need to work with how the conscious mind thinks. And how we do it is we look in an objective way, meaning we get our mind, our conscious part of our mind, to operate in a different way. How we do it is to think objectively. How do we do that? We ask questions. That’s literally what we do.
In order to do this, there’s seven questions that I’m going to bring you down through in order to actually dissolve the fear.
Now, if you can think of the fear that’s coming up for you, meaning that if you’ve experienced a recent fear, whatever that fear might be, when you go through the list of questions, you’ll find that the fear will be dissolved. Then we have to also remove the trigger. That’s another part.
But I want to bring you through is the sequence of questions because it’s set in a particular way. And when you go through it, it will dissolve the fear from that perspective.
Now, the first question is, well, what am I fearful of? Now, when you’re answering that question, it’s what are you fearful of? What’s the worst thing that can happen? Or what’s the worst possible case scenario that could potentially happen if whatever the event is triggering that emotional fear coming up? So the first question is, what am I fearful of? Because that has to be a statement from the perspective of you’ve got to name what you’re most afraid of. Now, for some people that could be, well, I might lose my reputation, as I said if you go back to the different types of fear that I explained earlier on. I’ll lose my reputation or how I’m respected in society, or I could lose my house. It’s whatever the worst case scenario is for you, that’s what you’ve got to name.
Now, the next question is, so what’s the actual evidence that you have that makes these negative thoughts to be factual, meaning what’s the evidence that you have that makes these negative thoughts to be true? Now, when you look at that question and you start to think about it, and you start to look at it from the perspective of what evidence do I have right now in this moment in time, that’s going to give rise to “I’m going to lose my house or I’m going to lose my reputation” or whatever it is that you’ve answered to the first question.
Now, what you’ll find in every single one of those questions, meaning every single time you answer that question, what you find the answer will always be, I don’t have any evidence. There is no evidence right now at the moment. Because if you go back to the definition of fear, fear is the perception of a future event, so the event hasn’t happened yet. So therefore there’s no evidence right now at the moment to substantiate, to make that fear, to make that event the answer to you what you gave to the first question to make it absolutely true, to make it factual. So the answer to that question, question number two, is always, “I don’t have any evidence.”
But then you go onto the question number three. And you look, okay, so what is the evidence that I have that makes these negative thoughts to be false? Because then you start to look at and start to gather the evidence in your mind.
Now it’s a lot easier to answer these questions when you have somebody qualified to pull the information out of you, because our natural reaction is to say, “Well, I don’t have any evidence. I don’t have anything.” And you start getting back into building up that fear within yourself. And so if you’re to work through these questions with somebody that’s qualified to be able to do it with you, well then you will have a much, much better result.
But even just for now, just to start thinking about, the fear that you’re experiencing right now at the moment, ask yourself what evidence do you have that makes these negative thoughts to be false? What you’ll start to find, if you take, say for example, the scenario of, “Well, I could potentially lose my house.” And that’s the worst thing that you’re fearful of, when we start to look at the evidence to make that thought false, what we find is, well, we’re still paying the mortgage or we’re still paying the rent. We haven’t gotten any letters from the bank to say that the house is going to be repossessed. We haven’t received any information to say that, for definite, our house is going to be taken off us. We don’t have that evidence right now at the moment. So therefore it’s false.
So when we start to look and find the evidence that makes these negative thoughts to be false, we start to work from a conscious mind perspective, say, “Oh, okay. So we don’t have the evidence right now at the moment. So therefore there has to be an alternative way of thinking or in terms of way of moving forward.”
Now, if you move on to the next question, which is, what are the benefits of experiencing the circumstances I’m experiencing right now? Our mind will naturally be drawn towards all the negatives, all the drawbacks of any moment that shows up in our life. So our mind has built up all this evidence for ourselves of all the drawbacks. However, what we want to do is force the conscious thinking, force the mind, to start looking at what are the benefits of the current situation? Or what are the benefits of the circumstances that you’re experiencing right now at the moment?
And you may find a multitude of different benefits when you start to answer that question, benefits that you’ve never seen before. And when you see the benefits, ultimately what you’re doing is you’re bringing yourself back into equilibrium because there’s always both sides. There’s always positives and negatives. There’s always benefits and drawbacks. But the very fact of you asking yourself that question to identify the benefits, now you’re bringing yourself back into equilibrium.
The next question is, how is the current situation serving you towards your purpose? Now, if you remember back in an earlier blog, I outlined how you actually find your purpose. Now, when you find your purpose and you know what your purpose is and you’re working towards your purpose, when you ask the question, what is the current situation, or what are the current circumstances, or whatever is happening in your life right now at the moment, that you’re seeing as being a fearful moment, or you’re seeing it as being a negative moment, start to ask yourself the question from the point of view of how is the current event or the current moment serving you towards your purpose? And when you start to look for that evidence, what you’ll find is you’ll be drawn, or driven towards doing something that’s getting you one step closer to your purpose. It’s moving you away from what you were doing in the past, or what you were doing before to move you towards fulfilling your purpose.
And that’s typically what I’ve found with every single client that I drill this down into whereby they find, what they’re doing is getting them to do more activities that’s completely and totally in line with their purpose. So now they see it as being a way of moving them closer towards their purpose, as opposed to moving them away from the purpose.
The next question then is, so what’s a more objective way of thinking about the situation right now at the moment? And the more objective way is understanding the law duality, that there’s always both sides. There’s positives and negatives, there’s benefits and drawbacks. So when we see that there’s both sides and we see that there’s a better way. Meaning even just from going through the breathing exercise, go through, identify, what’s the evidence in your life right now at the moment, and how is it helping you and guiding you towards your purpose? When we start to bring all that together in a more objective way, you’ll see there are a lot more benefits that can be seen, right now at the moment, that’s helped you in your life are serving you as you’re going forward. So it’s an objective way of seeing both sides, and that’s bringing you more into equilibrium.
And then lastly, the last question is, so what new learning or positive actions can you take from this exercise or from this moment? What’s the new learning or positive actions that you can take going forward? And that’s different for a lot of different people, whereby they may say, well, anytime a fear comes up, you’re going to go through the exercise. So they remind themselves of doing that exercise or they’ll set themselves a reminder in some shape or form whereby when fear starts to build up, they’ll do the breathing exercise. Or when fear starts to build up, they’ll go and answer each one of those questions, or they’ll partner with somebody, or ask somebody that’s experienced to pull the information out of them in order to ask the questions. And therefore they can dissolve the fear from that perspective. So that could be new learning. And a new learning might be in relation to whatever it is that’s moving you towards or getting you to do differently or to do more of, that’s what you need to do more of going forward.
So when you answer each one of those questions, ultimately if you’ve done it correctly and done it right, and you’ve done it thoroughly, what you’ll find is that fear will be dissolved.
But let me ask you, why is fear there in the first place? Fear is there as feedback for ourselves that we’re not in equilibrium or that we’re not living our purpose. Fear is a feedback mechanism. All the negative emotions and feelings that we feel is feedback to ourselves that we’re not in equilibrium or we’re not living our true purpose.
So when we bring ourselves into equilibrium, which is what objective thinking does, those questions that I gave you, when we bring ourselves into equilibrium and we’re living our purpose, well then fear doesn’t show up because we’re seeing both sides. We are completely in equilibrium and we’re totally connected. Equilibrium for me, as I said earlier on, equilibrium is where we are connected with our Unconscious and we’re connected with the SuperConscious. When we’re in equilibrium, there is no fear.
Now, yes, is fear going to show up at some point in the future? Yes, when we’re out of equilibrium, but ultimately there may be a trigger that we haven’t dissolved as yet. And when we dissolve the trigger, well, then the fear won’t show up going forward. Now, the type of fear that you experience, meaning, remember I said that there’s seven different types of fear, the type of fear that you experience is your feedback to say that you’re attached to something. So if, for example, it’s a fear of losing your money or it’s a fear losing your house, or it’s connected with, for example, your reputation or your ego, it’s your attachment to something. And that’s also bringing you out of equilibrium.
So what has to happen is that we have to dissolve the attachment, because if you remember back to one of the previous blogs, what I spoke about was that in The Executive Code, picture this in your own mind, if you can imagine you’ve got one circle whereby it’s your Executive Center connected with another circle, your Unconscious, and then connected with another circle, which is the SuperConscious. So ultimately what you’re doing is you’re trying to make yourself in equilibrium between each one of those circles.
As soon as you’re attached to something, whether it be money, whether it be your relationship, whether it be your ego or reputation or something, it’s bringing that pendulum out of equilibrium. So what we’ve got to do is we’ve got to dissolve the attachment as well as the trigger that brings up the fear.
So what we need to do ultimately, when we’re trying to dissolve fear, first of all, is to reset your brain. And how we do that is by our breathing exercise, the one that I gave you earlier on whereby we breathe in for five seconds, we hold it for five seconds and we exhale for five seconds. That resets the brain very quickly.
Then we have to identify what is the fear, what is it that we’re most fearful of and we’re going to then go through the process of dissolving that fear. And we do that by the objective thinking questions exercise. And then we have to identify the attachment of what we have that’s bringing up that fear whereby we’re not being in equilibrium. What is it that’s bringing you out of equilibrium? And what’s the trigger that’s causing that fear to show up in the first place? When you get that information and you start to dissolve the trigger and the attachment, then it’s no longer going to show up in your life.
So what I would encourage you to do is the next time fear starts to show for you is to go through that process for yourself, because ultimately what you’ll find then is you bring yourself back into equilibrium, and then you’ll be operating from the Executive Center, with your Unconscious and into the SuperConscious.
So that’s how we actually handle fear.
In the last blog I talked about some of the symptoms that show up in our lives when our unconscious mind is trying to get us to correct our course, or to get us on the right track for us to be in equilibrium, for us to be on our purpose. And I spoke about a sense of what the space of moving from a state of Belief to a state of Knowing is like, that we’re being drawn to something new, to something new in our life, to a new way or new direction for our business, our life or our career.
It’s this sense that as we move from the state of Belief to a state of Knowing, that a lot of different symptoms start to show up in our lives. I discussed this in the previous blog.
But I want to drill down a little more again further between these two states – the state of Belief and the state of Knowing. Now, what shows up in people’s lives as we’re moving between these two states is what I refer to as Choice Points. It’s these choice points that the feathers, the bricks, and the trucks show up in our life. And as I said on the previous blog, if we listen to the feathers, well, then life becomes a lot easier. However, if we don’t listen to the feathers, the bricks come along, and the bricks are a little bit more subtle than the feathers. We would prefer if the bricks didn’t show up. And again, if we don’t listen to the bricks, well then unfortunately the truck does come along the way and believe me, we don’t want the truck along our way.
I use that as an analogy to explain the different nudges or the different ways of how our unconscious mind is trying to show up in our life for us to make a decision. And ultimately it’s a Choice Point. The terminology that I use is it’s a choice point in our life. Now, we can have many choice points throughout our whole life, but some choices are an lot easier to make versus others.
And in the last blog I also spoke about the sense and feelings when you’re moving from a state of Belief to a state of Knowing, is this sense that you’re at a crossroads. That could be a four-way route or it could be a two-way route or a three-way route. It’s literally those crossroads that show up in people’s lives. So it can be quite confusing for a lot of people. Now, you would have gone through a multitude of choice points throughout your life right up to this point, but they may have been easy choice points to make. You just saw it at that time as being just a choice. You got to make it, and you just take the choice and you move forward.
However, for a lot of people, what happens in a particular time as we move throughout our life and the challenges become a lot more difficult, on top of that the choices become harder to make. That’s when it becomes, “How do we actually make this choice? Am I going in the right direction? And if I make this decision, is it the right decision to make?” So let me explain some of the elements that show up in people’s lives and for you to consider, if you are at a particular choice point or you may be able to recognize previous choice points.
What happens is, as I said, that the feathers, the bricks and the trucks show up in our life. If we still don’t listen to the feathers, the bricks and the trucks show up, and if we still don’t listen to the trucks, then everything is stripped away. Now, what I mean by everything, it means that anything that is most important to us and most important in particular to our ego, because our ego is at its maximum or at its highest, when we’re in a state of Belief. Whatever has the biggest impact on our ego will be stripped away. How that shows up is meaning that relationships will literally fall apart, our business will completely decimate. Not just have a major impact, it will be completely decimated. Our health will have a significant impact that we may not even overcome, that we will have to live with that health issue for the rest of our life. Our major finances will be completely stripped away.
These are…a higher level of truck, if you want to call it from that perspective, if we’re still not listening to what we’re being guided to. Now, all of these, whatever the trigger is the most that’s impacting on the ego, is the one that will be stripped away. If that’s not listened to, it will continue to ripple out to the rest of the elements, and if you can imagine multiple triggers happening. So ultimately what’s actually happening is the unconscious mind is trying to strip away or to move you away from your conscious thinking. To move you away from your ego and for you to trust and to believe and have faith in your unconscious and what your unconscious mind is trying to guide you towards. It’s this inner knowing or this inner desire for you to move towards a much, much altered or different direction.
And the only way the unconscious mind can do that, if we haven’t listened to the feathers, the bricks and the trucks, the only way it can do that is make life so difficult that you have to make a choice. That you now have to make a decision. Because ultimately we can go through our life and we can have the sense that we’ve got to be doing something different. We’ve got to be doing something different, we’ve got to change our business and go in a different direction, or you’ve got to change your career or go in a different direction. But we just don’t make the decision, we don’t change anything. We have this inner sense that we should do, and we want to, and we have desire to, but we don’t change anything. And we again, we just continue going from year to year to year on that treadmill, on that hamster wheel, continuing doing exactly the same thing as what we’ve always done.
So the only way if the unconscious mind is not getting your attention to make a decision, literally is to strip every single thing away from your life. But what it does is it starts at the highest trigger of what that is for you. For example, if finances are the highest trigger for you, meaning that as soon as your finances start to deplete in your business or your bank account, and you start to worry and have fear and anxiety around your finances depleting, ultimately what’s happening is that your unconscious mind is trying to get you to make a decision or to make a choice of what it is that it’s getting to.
Now, how you’ll identify this even further, because I see this happening in businesses more particularly because obviously I work with a lot of business owners, but I see it happening in business. But what happens is they continue doing exactly the same activities, but still the financial health of their business does not improve, because they’re still doing what they’ve always done.
Now, if that happens and you’re doing all the different things that you’ve done in the past by way of all the things that worked, whereby what you’ve done in terms of marketing or advertising, or gotten out there to try and bring in more business into your business to increase your turnover, and it’s still not having an impact on your finances because whatever shows up, unusual expenditure starts to happen, or other costs start to come into the business by way of the business being sued or other clients disappearing or other customers or things happening within the business in order to suck those finances out of the business. Even though you’re doing a huge amount of activity by way sales and marketing in order to actually bring that business back in, if that’s the case, ultimately, it’s your identification to say, “I need to do something completely different.”
And the thing that you need to do differently is to listen to what it is that you’re being guided towards. Because I see this so many different times whereby they still continue doing exactly what they’ve always done, even though I’ve told them many, many times this is the path you need to go on and there’s a track you should be heading towards in order for you to reach your purpose. When they don’t do it or they take a long period of time in order to do it, literally their business will start to dismantle. They lose staff, they lose their turnover, they lose customers. You name it, all of that shows up because one of their highest triggers is finances. It’s only then when it’s all been stripped away or very nearly all been stripped away, that they then make the decision, “I need to do something different.”
And therefore they start to do things differently, of being on the right track, being on the right purpose and then lo and behold, the money starts to come into the business. Things have started to change because literally they’ve altered their course.
So, when that happens or how you recognize it, is those elements showing up in your life of what it’s impacting on your highest levels or what is the highest triggers that’s impacting on your ego side of things, because ultimately your unconscious mind is trying to get you to move from a state of Belief, into a state of Knowing. In a state of Knowing it’s moving more closer to a state whereby you’re allowing your unconscious mind to direct you more in your life. Ultimately in that shift, it’s your unconscious mind wanting to be expressed. It wants full expression in a shift between those two states.
So ultimately it’s going to get rid of everything that it needs to do in order for you to make that shift into operating more so from your unconscious mind, than your conscious mind. Now, ultimately what happens is, as I said at the very beginning, is a choice point. We’ve got a choice as regards, whether we go one way, or we go another way. We can continue doing whatever we’ve always done. And you know, the definition of madness, you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re always going to get the exact same results. But in this case, unfortunately, you’re not going to get the exact same results, you’re actually going to get worse results if you keep doing what you’ve always done. The whole point is that you have to do something slightly different. And it ultimately is what your unconscious mind is trying to guide you towards. What is that slightly different that you should be doing?
Well I use the analogy of when you’re at this choice point of the boat and the pontoon. So if you can imagine a rowing boat and it’s moored up against the pontoon. So it’s this analogy that I get people to understand what’s actually happening in their life. So if you can picture in your mind’s eye, you got one foot in the boat and one foot on the pontoon. The pontoon represents safe ground, the pontoon represents your comfort zone. It represents what you’ve always been doing. It represents your career, your business, your life, how you’ve lived your life up until now. That’s what you know, you know it inside out. You’re absolutely safe on the pontoon. Whereas the boat, it’s a little bit unsteady. You have a sense perhaps of where the boat wants to bring you towards, but you don’t have an image or a direction or a satnav GPS of where that’s actually going to go. But you have a sense that it really does want you to step into the boat and guide you towards moving towards that new direction.
What happens while you’re at a choice point, for many, many people, is they have that one foot in the boat and one foot on the pontoon. And if you can imagine for yourself in the physical world, if you had one foot in the boat and one foot on the pontoon and the boat starts to move away, it would get very unsettling. So all the symptoms that I explained in the previous blog will start to show up in that unnerving-ness or that unsettling in your life of where should I be going? What should I be doing? Then all of a sudden, the pontoon’s not as safe as what it used to be versus I need to step into the boat. But for a lot of people it’s very difficult to step into the boat.
And how do I make that choice? How do I literally put my both feet into the boat and go in this new direction? So understand that that’s what it feels like. That’s what it looks like. That’s what a choice point is in trying to move from the pontoon into the boat. Now ultimately, what it’s trying to get you to do is to make a decision. It’s asking you, your unconscious mind is trying to ask you to trust it and to put both feet in the boat. Once you get in that boat and you now move towards your new direction of what it is been guiding you all along to do, of what you absolutely totally and utterly enjoy doing, have the biggest impact in doing, reach your fullest potential in doing, be living on your purpose and get the maximum fulfillment from, it knows all of this. It’s just asking you to trust it and get in the boat and head towards that new direction.
And it only happens when you make a decision. Now, by making a decision, it’s you literally, as if you were physically moving from the pontoon into the boat. A decision looks like you’re making a firm resolve to yourself as, “Yes, this is what I’m going after. This is what I’m going to do. I’m going to get in the boat. And that’s exactly the direction that I’m going to go.” Now, what happens as soon as you make that decision in your own mind, other things start to show up to check have you made that decision? Have you made that firm resolve because it wants to try and tempt you back onto the pontoon because that’s the conscious part, it’s trying to get you back to the comfort zone. That’s your ego wanting to play with you to get you back to what you’ve always known.
So other things start to show up in order to tempt you back out of the boat onto the pontoon. So the question for yourself is a firm resolve is actually no, stepping in the boat and heading in your direction and saying, “Oh shoot, do you know what, he world that you knew before is now left on the pontoon”. Other ways of looking at this, do you really want to… for you to make a really firm resolve for yourself is to burn the pontoon, like in your mind’s eye is literally burning that pontoon so therefore you’ve set it alight and therefore now the pontoon no longer exists. It’s gone.
Now, you’re now firmly in the boat itself. How you communicate that to the unconscious that you’ve actually made that decision is a firm resolve that says, yes, you’re committing to staying in the boat and going in the direction of where you’re being guided to. How you continue to communicate that message is you start to take action towards where you’re being guided towards. For many people, it is a leap of faith because that choice point can be such a choice point for them that it demands a leap of faith. Now I’ve heard this analogy before from a very successful business person, and what he said was, “As soon as you take the leap of faith, the parachute shows up” because you’ve always had the parachute, it’s been always there, you just don’t realize that the parachute is there. And once you take the leap of faith, that’s when the parachute starts to show up.
So when you step into the boat, you’re taking action and you’re moving towards that new direction for yourself. That’s making a firm decision. That’s making a decision at that particular choice point. How it’s a leap of faith is because fear starts to show up. Fear and anxiety because it can be around well, what about financial? Where am I going to get the money from? Or is this new direction going to give me the income that I need that I’ve always been used to? Or it could be an impact from a reputational perspective. Am I going to lose part of my reputation, what I’ve been known for? This is, up until now, this is what I’ve been known for. This is how I identify myself in the world. And therefore, am I going to impact the reputation that I have in the world? Or it’s a fear that we’re going to lose something, whether it be losing more finances or losing our business or losing our career or losing something in our life.
It’s that fear that actually shows up. But if you really think about it, each one of those fears is tapped into our ego. As I said earlier on, ultimately, what it’s trying to do is try to trigger your ego and your ego is trying to hold you back in that state of Belief and not wanting you to move into a state of Knowing. So that’s where that fear will actually start to show up. Now, on one of these blogs I’ll go through about dissolving fear, but I just want you to understand, first of all, this is what happens when we’re at a choice point and when we’re being asked to take that leap of faith and get into the boat and move towards where we’re meant to be, where we’re supposed to be.
What actually shows up then as well for other people is a question or a statement that comes open up when I have these conversations with my clients is, I don’t have the courage. I don’t have the strength or I don’t have… How am I ever going to achieve that? Or how am I ever going to go there? But ultimately what inwardly you’re saying is that you’re not good enough. You’re not intelligent enough, which again is another fear. So when you realize actually, do you know what, all you need to do is be more competent in what it is that you need to do in order to actually take the action, what it is that you need to do or the direction you need to go on, then that can be overcome. So courage can be built once we understand the underlying essence of where the question is coming from or where that fear is coming from.
If we still don’t take that leap that we’re being guided towards, and we’re still kind of between one foot in the boat and one foot on the pontoon, those symptoms will still continue to show up until such times as we’ve made a decision. So those symptoms by way of, as I spoke about in the previous blog, those symptoms of the restlessness, being defeating, being unfulfilled, the lack of meaning in our lives, the lack of motivation, lack of drive of where it is that we want to go, or that feeling of we’re just not reaching my full potential, those symptoms will continue to show up until such time as you make a decision.
Now, the question then I tend to get from clients is yeah, but I don’t know where I’m supposed to be going? I don’t know what direction I’m supposed to be going? Now I give them part of the elements of the image that I have for them by way of where their purposes is, where they’re supposed to be going in order to actually get them to take the steps or to guide them towards that path that they’re supposed to be taking.
For you, what I’m going to say is that the action that you’re supposed to take is the action that comes up. The more you listen, and the more you communicate with your unconscious mind, the more those actions, those inspired thoughts are going to come up. And those inspired thoughts create actions to be taken.
Now I use the analogy of, if you can imagine in your mind’s eye, whereby you’re driving down a country road, but it’s at nighttime. So if you can imagine that there’s no lights around whatsoever on this country road, and you have your headlights on, on the car, but there’s no road lights. There’s no streetlights because it’s completely pitch black outside, but you just have your headlights on the front of your car. All you can see when you’re driving that car down the country road is just a short distance ahead. You can only see a few meters ahead of you. That’s all you can see. So as you’re driving down, as you drive further and further down the road, all you can see is those few metres ahead of you as you move along the road, but you have a sense of where you’re heading. You have a sense of the direction that you’re supposed to be going. You have a sense of where you want to get to, but you just see a few meters down the road, because all you see is what the headlights show up for you.
When we’re at choice points and we need to take action of what it is that we’re meant to be doing, well then all we see is those few meters ahead. And what I mean by that is those actions, the first step that you need to take, that’s the step that appears. That next action that you’re supposed to take, that’s the next action that shows up. That’s the next action that you’re supposed to take. And even if there’s an element of fear, you take the action anyway, because you’ll always know the difference between a conscious thought and an inspired thought.
And perhaps I’ll explain that in one of the future blogs, but you’ll know the difference between a conscious thought and an inspired thought. An inspired thought, I gave you a few different examples before in previous blogs whereby you could be woken up in the morning or it literally pops into your mind while you’re doing something else, you haven’t been consciously thinking about it. But when an inspired thought comes up, the energy is very, very different. It’s a much more fun, lighter, happier energy. And even though there may be a fear attaching to that inspired thought because, Oh my God, I’ve never done that before. Or what am I supposed to do? Or how am I supposed to do it? That’s the conscious mind rushing in to try and work out how it’s going to do it, but the inspired thought at the very beginning was the piece of, Oh my God, this is what you’re supposed to be doing. That’s the next action that you’re supposed to take.
So even if there’s a fear attaching to the next step or the next action that you’re being encouraged to take from an unconscious perspective, know that it’s still an inspired thought or notice the difference anyway. In particular that it is an inspired thought. And once you know that it’s an inspired thought, understand that it’s the conscious mind kicking in for you to understand and to rationalize and how to make it happen that inspired thought or what action you need to take the planning or to work it out of what an inspired thought is.
So understand, yes, with inspired thoughts a fear can show up, but you’ll always only be given and encouraged to take the action of what you’re capable of taking at this moment in time. So when you’re at a choice point, whatever action that you’re absolutely capable of doing, even though the unconscious mind knows that you can achieve so much more, you can do so much more, it knows that it has a battle with your conscious thinking that it can only give you what the conscious mind thinks it’s capable of doing. So therefore, that small action that starts to happen or that small action that shows up, as soon as you take the action, those actions become bigger and bigger and bigger because really what’s actually happening is you’re getting to know and the courage and the competence in doing those particular actions that show up. So you’ll only be asked to do something that you know, or that the unconscious knows from your conscious perspective, it can take, and it can actually do.
It’s never going to ask you to do something completely wild that’s totally, utterly outside your competence level. So when it comes from that perspective, understand that it’s for you to take a firm decision, what’s followed is by taking action. Now some clients ask me when they’re in a business or if they’re in a job or a career, and they say, I can’t take that leap of faith because then I would have to give up my business, or I’d have to give up my job. I’d have to give up my career that they’ve built, they’ve spent so many years building and to be asked to either do something slightly different or something significantly different to what they’ve always been doing. But they know in their heart that that’s exactly what they want to be doing because the energy inside of them starts to light up from the perspective, “that’s really what I want to be doing. That’s my dream. That’s absolutely what I want to be doing.”
But the fear, holds them back. So the clients typically ask me, do I need to give up my business or do we need to give up my career in order to actually do what my inner desire of what I’ve been drawn towards? And I never ever, ever ask my clients to take that leap of faith, because they’ve got to present for themselves of when they’re ready to take that leap of faith. What I’ll do is I’ll bring about as much as I possibly can by way of dissolving their fears and ask them to take the smaller steps towards that bigger picture. So therefore their courage, or their confidence starts to build in relation to they’re going in the right direction. So I’ll never ask them to literally dismantle their existing business. I’ll never ask them to dismantle their existing career. What I ask them to do is work it in parallel.
So while you’re trying to pivot or while you’re trying to change that pattern, that course of direction that you’re trying to do, do it from a parallel perspective. So as you start to develop what it is that you want to do, as you start to bring about and make manifest what it is that you’re being drawn towards or what you’re being guided towards, that’s the conscious thinking that’s literally working out from that perspective is how do I literally plan out how do I work this from a parallel perspective? But when it comes from that piece, meaning the conscious thinking piece and you’re trying to work out well, how do we even do this from a parallel perspective, let alone taking a leap of faith and completely change overnight of what it is that you’re doing. Don’t go from a conscious thinking perspective, go from an unconscious thinking, because conscious thinking only knows black and white. It only knows based on past experiences, past knowledge, past learning from other people or other things or other moments or other events that it’s already gone through. That’s conscious thinking. So therefore the information that it has is only the information that it’s got knowledge of. It’s black and white, it’s finite.
So hand it over to the unconscious part of you and the unconscious part is infinite possibilities. And the more you align your Executive Center, with your Unconscious and to the SuperConscious, the more infinite possibilities start to show up. So what you do is you seek out those possibilities from your Unconscious. You draw them out, you draw them out towards you, of what it is that you should be doing by way of what are those next steps?
What are the actions that you need to be doing that’s in-line with your unconscious and in-line with the SuperConscious and therefore also in-line with your Executive Center? What are the actions you’re being drawn to? They’re the inspired thoughts. So draw that information out from your unconscious, not from a conscious thinking perspective, it’s two very, very different ways of thinking. But ultimately, as I said in the previous blog, what’s happening is, it’s trying to shift you from a state of Belief to a state of Knowing. And what I said in the last blog was that state of Knowing is absolutely surrendering and giving over to your unconscious to be guided by your unconscious to where you’re supposed to go. So the more you communicate with your unconscious and develop that relationship with your unconscious, the more you’re actually going to draw out in order to be given the actions that you’re supposed to take.
That’s how it works. It seems so simple. It is simple when you know how, but it’s so, so complicated for people to get around because they’re moving from a way that they’ve always worked to an absolute new way of being, a new way of working. So, that’s choice points. So understanding when you’re at a choice point, you’ve got to make a decision, and until such time as you put your both feet in the boat, that you firmly resolve in making that decision. And you’re taking action towards where that boat wants to go, where your unconscious mind wants to bring you to, it’s only good things that are going to happen, but for some people it’s about taking that leap of faith.
Now, all that shows up as I said was, all you’re going to see is a few metres ahead of you. That’s the car headlights when you’re driving down a country road. So whatever the actions that you are being asked to take right now at the moment, that’s what’s going to show up. The more actions you take, the more closer you’re getting to your purpose, the more closer you’re getting to your end goal of where you’re supposed to be. And therefore bigger actions will start to show up. And bigger and bigger ways of how it becomes about make manifest. Bigger ways of how you’re going to get the recognition, the reward, the impact.How you are going to make that difference in people’s lives. That’s what’s going to show up as you take the action towards where you’re being guided towards.
So the question I have for you now is, what are you being drawn towards to do differently? What is it inwardly that you’ve been drawn towards to do? So whether it be in your business, whether it be in your career, what’s that inner-feeling that you know you should be doing something different. And if you’re having those questions inside, that, you know what, I need to be doing something different, or what in your business, in your life, in your career, by way of making that difference or being guided on a much, much bigger purpose, but you don’t know what that purpose is, go back to previous blogs because I outlined how you find your purpose. But the next case is making a decision. Making the decision on the choice point and take an action on those choice points.
So what are you being asked towards to do? What are the next steps that are showing up for you? What is your unconscious mind trying to guide you towards, in order to take those next steps? And then you got to take action and take those next steps.