Dealing With Overwhelm

Dealing With Overwhelm

How do you deal with overwhelm?

Many of us have been there…trying to balance work and life, to-do lists, deadlines, meetings, family, things that have to get done, responding to emails and phonecalls…

The list goes on and on!

When we feel overwhelmed, we don’t devote enough time to planning. We become short-tempered with colleagues, clients, friends and family. Our blood-pressure goes up. Evenings and weekends are taken up with “trying to catch up”. Decisions get postponed. And the things that are most important, in real terms, get neglected…until it’s too late.

Sound familiar?

But how do we deal with it?

For me, it starts with eliminating all the things that aren’t important.

But the response I typically get from clients is that it’s ALL important.

However, for a moment, step back and look at your list of all the things you have to do, and decide on

WHO is making it important, and

WHY is it important…whatever that is.

You see, we typically find ourselves saying that it’s important, when it’s not really.It’s important to respond to all the emails. It’s important to attend the meetings. It’s important to get all the tasks done.

I once told a client not to respond to the 1,000+ emails that he had in his inbox, and move them all to a separate folder in his email account, so that they would all still be there if he ever needed them, but his inbox would be empty, for once!

His reaction – shock and horror.

The difference afterwards – amazing, for him.

Did anything negative happen – No!

The thing is, sometimes we make things important; because WE want to feel important!

We’re looking for other people’s opinion, feedback, validation…to say to us that we’re a good boy/girl.

That we’re doing a good job.

Since we were a child we’ve been trained to operate this way. You’ll even see yourself doing with your own colleagues, friends and children.

We don’t want to let people down.

Where in fact we’re actually letting ourselves down.

It’s because of this “need” to have other people’s validation that our own self-esteem gets lower…and then we climb to a state of overwhelm.

So the question really becomes, out of everything that you feel “needs” to be done right now, what’s the most important thing to do?

And sometimes the answer might be to simply go for a walk, get some fresh air, take a deep breath, get a different perspective, or move all your emails from your inbox!

When we do this, we get back our control.

When we’re in control, overwhelm goes away.

What do you do when you experience being overwhelmed?






Podcast Interview – Blunt Advice for Accountants Wanting to Make a Difference

Podcast Interview – Blunt Advice for Accountants Wanting to Make a Difference

In this interview you will learn…

  • Compliance for accountants is becoming a smaller proportion of accounting firm income
  • Accountants have NOT been listening over the years, both to what their clients are wanting and what the market is driving
  • Clients see little value in compliance, which is why it’s becoming a commodity
  • Many accounting firms are unable or unwilling to give their clients the direction and advice they need
  • Most accounting websites have the same buzz words – integrity, honesty, professionalism, reliability, so where is the differentiation?
  • Most accountants have lied, bent the rules, committed things if they answer honestly
  • The vast majority of accounting firms have not changed over the years and are not open to change
  • A picture of what will happen to accounting firms who cannot or refuse to change and really listen to their clients and their own staff
  • The younger accountants coming through to replace the older generation are more empathetic and ask better questions of clients
  • One possible reason why accountants don’t listen and ask good questions of clients is that they’re supposed to have all the answers
  • Dashboards, graphs and charts are easy for accountants to produce, but this is not what business owners are looking for
  • Most accountants are doing well from a revenue and profitability point of view but are not thinking long term and will suffer in coming years
  • What separates the good accounting firms from the great ones
  • Commercially minded accountants are few and far between, and many are not open to this coachable skill
  • The difference between the good and great accountants is offering strategic advice
  • Why accountants should not Simon Sinek’s ‘start with your why’ as that’s not why clients buy from you
  • Values are completely misunderstood in all companies – accountants should properly use them for better impact and differentiation
  • A business cannot have a set of values – it’s an inanimate object and not a human being
  • Values are better phrased as priorities or philosophy when it comes to representing your accounting firm
  • Almost all accounting firms are seeing huge downward pressure on fees and a huge increase in salaries, and economics says these two lines will cross
  • Accountants are a 6 or 7 out of 10 when it comes to time management and productivity
  • Accountants can put all manner of new business systems and processes in place, but if they don’t change human behaviour, they won’t succeed
  • Very few business coaches and consultants who serve accountants do not invest in learning and so dish out the same information and methods.


Click here to listen to the podcast.




Podcast Interview – What leaders should know about stories that motivate decisions

Podcast Interview – What leaders should know about stories that motivate decisions

In this interview you will learn…

  • Why you don’t need to start with your ‘why’ to make/promote better, future decisions
  • What really drives decisions when you’re considering ‘how things could be’ scenarios
  • Why the types of wake-up call stories you encounter and share matter so much in life and the extent to which they may inspire change
  • The characteristics of stories that win attention and influence versus get ignored
  • How feedback from your body can force to rethink and change your current way of doing things
  • The role love should play in centring your thinking, actions and interactions with others
  • Where leaders go wrong when sharing stories to inspire and influence others
  • What you need to know to craft better stories that motivate and ignite new actions
  • How to uncover, understand and live your real core values to achieve better stories
  • Where fulfillment really comes from and why it pays to embrace information gaps
  • And more


Click here to listen to the podcast.


What do you need to change?

What do you need to change?

In the minds of many, change is a dirty word. When we hear ‘change’, we think disruption of sorts. A threat. Something that ruins the status quo and forces us to go back and break what’s comfortable for us.

So change tends to have a negative connotation.

That’s because we associate change with external situations. Change in our circumstances, change in our environment, change in other people, change in systems or processes, change in having to do things differently because of other people.

All of this is change that is out of our control. And most people feel uncomfortable when they are unable to control a situation. We instinctively seek safety, and change threatens that safety.

But what about change that is within our control?

This is the kind of change many people neglect as we tend to focus on the ‘external’ rather than the ‘internal’.

We continue to struggle as we wait for the economy to reach ‘normality’. We wait for the market to change and recognise the value we offer. We wish our employees could be this way or that way. We give out about all the things our employer does wrong.

Here’s the thing – any one of these elements of our environment may or may not change. And we have zero control over them, which puts us in a weak position.

However, what you do have control over, is yourself.

You can change.

And you can decide what to change, when to change, and how to change. And that’s powerful. It puts you back in the driving seat.

And here’s something even deeper many of us don’t realise. By changing you; you have the power to change your environment and circumstances. In fact, positive change on the outside is only ever initiated by change on the inside first.

There’s a quote by Jim Rohn, which has been a guiding light for me for many years now, and it says:

“For things to change, you’ve got to change.

For things to get better, you’ve got to get better”

But what does it mean?

Well, external change is inevitable.

We can react negatively to it. And we can spend our time and energy giving out about it. We can blame others for our circumstances, and we can resent others for what they have done to us.

But in order to make a real difference, we need to look internally.

Consider it this way. If you’re experiencing people, events or circumstances that you perceive to be adverse to you – then take it as a feedback mechanism for what you need to change internally.

If people are constantly challenging you and bringing you down; then where in your life are you being proud?

If circumstances aren’t the way you’d like them to be; then what is the fantasy you are addicted to?

If you’re resentful for the changes that are going on around you, or of some people that are in your life; then what are the parts of them that you have not yet recognised exist in yourself?

I use the analogy of the pendulum…the pendulum always wants to be in a state of equilibrium. If it swings too far in one direction, then forces will be brought to bear in order to bring it back to equilibrium.

You are that pendulum.

You are constantly being forced into a state of equilibrium.

In life, these can be events, people, or circumstances that show up in your life to help you to change. They are all a feedback mechanism.

And if you’re addicted to a particular outcome, dream or fantasy, then you will attract the opposite.

It’s all to bring you into a state of equilibrium. And it can be proved time and time again.

Reflect on your own life and find the evidence for yourself.

So for things to change, what is it that you need to change within yourself?

Secondly, just as in your personal life as it is when it comes to your business, if you want your personal life to be better, then you’ve got to get better.

If you want your business to be better, then you’ve got to make your business better. This can be in terms of your operations, your customer service, or the product or service you offer.

If you’re not getting better, then you reach a point of being stagnant. When that happens, then there will be no end of people or competitors that will overtake you and gain a bigger slice of the market.

In Japanese businesses, they use the word Kaizen. Which means continuous improvement.

How are you making yourself better in your personal life; but also how are you making your business better and more valuable for your customers, or how are you making yourself better for your employer?

The better you become, the more valuable you become.

So remember…

“For things to change, you’ve got to change.
For things to get better, you’ve got to get better”

If you would like to discuss the above subject matter in more detail for you, your business or your organisation, feel free to reach out.

Silence Is Not Always Golden

Silence Is Not Always Golden

Do you remember your parents ever saying “silence is golden”?

In other words when the children have gone to bed and there’s quiet in the house, it’s just bliss.

As a parent myself, when the kids were much younger, I can relate to this.

But what about when it comes to your business? In that case, silence may not always be golden.

As owners and managers, we say we want feedback from our employees and peers; but then when it’s received, how do we react?

It’s human to get offended and therefore defensive when we receive negative feedback. We tend initially not to see it as an opportunity to learn something new about ourselves.

And when we see someone else that oftentimes are delusional about their view of themselves or their ideas, we remain silent, perhaps for fear that we’ll upset them.

Just like when Simon Cowell tells a participant on the X-Factor that they can’t sing, the reaction from the audience says it all – it’s not good to say things as it is.

In that situation where the participant has not been told the truth by their parents, siblings and relations; what’s the right thing to do?

Allow the person to continue on throughout their life believing that they’re going to be an amazing successful singer, and encourage them along the way, or should they be told early on so as to lower their expectations?

And on the other hand, when we see something that is wrong or we feel it’s not the right thing to do morally, we keep quiet.

So let’s take a look at three types of silence that are detrimental to your organisation:


Organisational Silence

Morrison and Milliken define Organisational Silence as a behavioural choice that can deteriorate organisational performance.

Employees often have ideas, information and opinions for constructive ways to improve work and organisations. Sometimes these employees express their ideas, information and opinions; and other times they remain silent and withhold their views.

The effects of organisational silence is detrimental to organisations often causing an escalating level of dissatisfaction among employees. This manifests in absenteeism, low productivity and turnover. It kills innovation and results in poorly planned and executed projects, low morale and a damaged bottom line. This attitude can also affect the well-being of employees, with some developing depression and other health problems.

The creation of a climate of silence in an organisation is said to be caused by managers’ fear of receiving negative feedback, especially from subordinates. Another factor is that managers often hold the view that employees are self-interested and untrustworthy, and will therefore discourage upward communication.

This is compounded by the belief amongst employees that speaking up about problems is not worth the effort, and voicing one’s opinions and concerns is dangerous to their career.

In research that was carried out, supervisors’ attitude to silence were found to be the strongest predictor of silence behaviour. This means that employees may formulate a silent behaviour according to how they perceive their supervisors’ attitudes to opinions being expressed.

So when it comes to your organisation; how much are your managers encouraging and receptive to feedback, opinions, ideas and views from their team? How can open and honest feedback be improved in your organisation?


Willful Blindness

Willful Blindness is a term used in law to describe a situation in which a person seeks to avoid civil or criminal liability for a wrongful act by intentionally keeping himself or herself unaware of facts that would render him or her liable.

In order words, the person intentionally turns a blind eye to an ethical problem and subsequently pleads ignorant of facts.

Perhaps what will come to mind for you will be the movie, Erin Brockovich starring Julia Roberts. But there are many situations where willfull blindness persists – in banks and financial institutions where products were mis-sold; in the churches where decades of child abuse were hidden; in the entertainment industry where we see the results of the #MeToo campaign.

It exists in organisations both small and large, where people turn a blind eye to an ethical issue and choose to keep silent. It happens in communities, and it happens in families.

Influences like people’s fear of repercussion if they report it, or the view that an individual’s opinion is not going to make a difference, or the view of how whistle blowers are treated; all lead to people keeping silent. But under law, pleading ignorance cannot be a defence under the terms of Willful Blindness.

Like Organisational Silence described above, what are you doing to detect unethical practices within your organisation? What happens if it’s endemic from the top down? What is the right thing to do?


Personal Silence

Have you ever sat at your desk daydreaming for a better life?

You perform your duties to the best of your ability, but yet inside you’re deeply unhappy.

You have issues going on in your life that brings you to the point of questioning your self-belief and confidence. You’re unsure about your future and as a result you take longer to make decisions. And perhaps you’ve had many dark nights of the soul. But you can’t tell anybody about how you’re really feeling inside. What will they think? How will it affect your career? What will you do?

We say we want open conversations about mental health. But in reality, as an organisation do we really?

The impact for the individual are just as high-risk as they are for the company. For the individual, they may be wondering how it’s going to affect their career path if they say anything. The organisation on the other hand is worried about the consequences of knowing that an individual is under a lot of stress, or even depressed.

What will the company do? What will it cost them? How will they handle it? They can’t be seen to want the individual out of the company. What if they go off on long-term sick leave, then what?

Through my mentoring with organisations, the number of times I’ve had conversations with individuals in executive positions that are feeling depressed to the point of suicide ideation, are countless.

Yet thankfully they feel comfortable telling me, safe in the knowledge that it’s not going to be spoken about, but yet we can help to eliminate their dark feelings, which gives them huge relief.

As an individual, who are you turning to, to get help with your dark feelings, your self-questioning about your confidence and your self-worth?

As an organisation, what are you doing to allow your employees a forum to discuss their issues, without them feeling there is a risk? It’s not an option to turn a blind eye.

There’s no doubt in my mind that when it comes to discussions about depression and suicide, we’re going to see a lot more people trying to battle with it, deep within their own personal silence. It’s becoming an epidemic, and the conventional way of dealing with depression is not going to make the grade.

So you see, whether it be organisational silence, willful blindness, or personal silence, the fact of the matter is, sometime silence is not always golden.

But it is a very serious issue for your organisation, your employees, your profitability, productivity, your customers and your community.

But the real question is, what are you going to do about it for your business?

If the above has raised any concerns for your organisation, feel free to get in touch so that we can discuss more about what can be done to address these important issues for your business.


Extra Resources:

To find out more about Willful Blindness, take a look at this Ted Talk.

On the subject of Organisational Silence and the findings from research, check out these two reports:

Report 1

Report 2



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